A sad day

A year ago today, my mom died. For the past few weeks, the sad feelings came back as strong as when we first lost her. I guess mourning is a never-ending journey. Sometimes you cope and other times, you're glad for the stillness.
For some reason, I felt the need to buy tulips in her memory. A local grocery store is selling bunches of 10 for $5.99 so off I went. They had dozens of colours but I felt the need to buy white - after all, that is the appropriate colour, isn't it?
But there was a bunch of pale pink ones and as I walked by, a little voice told me to buy those instead. I know she would have preferred their delicacy and now they nestle in three of her favourite vases. I think she would have approved.
I've allowed myself to be easy on myself today - it's just not a day for self-criticism. A good day to drink plum tea and watch the snow sparkle on the landscape.